Night Terrors

Night Terrors: Sleep Disorders in Preschoolers
Article By Angela Kerevarah

What do you do when you find your son or daughter is getting up after being tucked into bed, screaming, yelling, and running around the house?

What is this? 

A nightmare? 

You try to wake her up but it’s difficult.

She looks awake and she’s agitated and frightened.  Once you wake her up she has no memory of the event but is terrified.

Was it a scary dream?

No, she says, she has no recollection of what she was even dreaming about.

These sleeping events are called Night Terrors.

They are most commonly seen in children who are between 3 and 5 years old.   They are both scary for the parent and the child.  But believe it or not they are harmless.  Most children grow out of them. Two to 3% of all children will experience episodes of night terrors. By the time they reach school age, most of these children will have outgrown these generally harmless events

Night Terrors are Very Different than Nightmares

Night Terrors occur within a couple of hours of falling sleep.  This is the non REM (rapid eye movement) stage of sleep.  During this phase of sleeping the sleep is not deep but the child is quiet and the body is settling down.  For reasons currently unknown, the child awakens frightened and starts moving around screaming, flailing arms possibly, and her eyes are wide open.  Once she wakes up she has no memory of what scared her.  In fact, there was no real event or item that scared her. The child appears to be awake but she is not. As she is so scared she is also asleep.   Generally these episodes last from 10 minutes to an hour.  Children fall back asleep after the terror has passed.  They do feel real fear even though they can’t put their finger on what caused this extreme reaction.

What Causes Night Terrors?

Night terrors have their roots in a number of causes.  Stress plays a big role in bringing about this sleeping disorder.  Being overtired and not getting sufficient sleep can bring on night terrors.  Night terrors also can run in families, if you or your spouse experienced them during your childhood your child may have them too.   Also children and families who have a history of bed wetting, sleep walking, night mares and/or talking in their sleep may be more predisposed to night terrors.  Other causes of night terrors can be a reaction to medication, food and drink before bedtime, interruption of routine, and developmental challenges like separation anxiety, loss etc.

What can I do to Help My Child?

It’s helpful to know that although these events may be disturbing for you, night terrors themselves are not harmful to your child. But because a child may get out of bed and run around the room, doctors do advise parents to gently restrain a child experiencing night terrors. Otherwise, let the episode run its course. Shouting and shaking your child awake will just agitate her more. Remember to warn babysitters and other family members who may be present overnight so that they will understand what is happening and won’t overreact.

It’s helpful to know that although these events may be disturbing for you, night terrors themselves are not harmful to your child. But because a child may get out of bed and run around the room, doctors do advise parents to gently restrain a child experiencing night terrors. Otherwise, let the episode run its course. Shouting and shaking your child awake will just agitate her more. Remember to warn babysitters and other family members who may be present overnight so that they will understand what is happening and won’t overreact.

Other Signs of a Night Terror are:

dot2 Night Terrors Screaming or talking wildly
dot2 Night Terrors A blank stare
dot2 Night Terrors Mistaking objects or people in the room for dangers
dot2 Night Terrors Episodes that last 10 to 30 minutes (generally longer than typical nightmares)
dot2 Night Terrors Inability to remember the episode in the morning

Prompted Awakenings

Prompted awakenings 15 minutes before night terrors begin, for seven consecutive nights, has been successful in eliminating the episodes in 90 percent of children. The trick is to notice the length of time from when your child first falls asleep to the onset of a night terror, and then awaken your child 15 minutes before the episode typically occurs. Keep her fully awake and out of bed for five minutes.  Keep a sleep journal for your child, noting what she has eaten before bed, any new activities in her life and the potential for them to be stressful TO her, include conversations with your child about how she is feeling and what may be bothering her.

Night Terrors are Generally Harmless

However parents should call their pediatrician if they notice any drooling, jerking or stiffening during the episode. This may be a symptom of a serious health problem.

About the Author:

Angela Kerevarah is a certified nurse midwife, mother of 2 grown children and soon to be grandmother. She is on the All About Moms Ask A Midwife expert panel.

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Copyright © 2001 Angela Kerevarah, All Rights Reserved Reprinted with Permission

Money

Money Matters
Giving Kids Allowances
By David McCurrach

How do our kids really learn to manage money? Most don’t until they’re adults and then they learn primarily as a result of their own successes and failures.

There’s usually no course at school, no helpful hints on TV and observing parents can be confusing at best. Typically, parent’s money management skills are often either not what we’d like them to be or our finances are so complex that how we handle our money doesn’t mean much to a child.

To make matters worse, kids today have more money to spend and develop financial styles at a younger age than ever. Before you know it, kids can develop bad habits that can last a lifetime.

In fact, most parents don’t deal with their kids’ money management problems until their children are adults. By then, these problems can be both costly and emotionally charged. Young children provide parents the best opportunity to encourage good financial habits and avoid problems that will develop latter in life if this area is neglected.

The only way kids will learn to manage their money is through their own experience and the guidance you, as parents, may give them. In other words, kids learn from trial and error and role models just like the rest of us. And if they can’t learn as children, the price of adult mistakes can be great in terms of money and relationships.

What Do I Do?

The first step, and the subject of this feature, is to Give ‘em an allowance!
Here’s why your kids need an allowance:

Having a regular amount of their own income is the only way kids can learn to manage money.

dot2 Money They need to be able to make mistakes when the cost is minimal.
dot2 Money Knowing the limit of available funds forces kids to think about how much things costs, and to make spending choices between the many things that they may want.
dot2 Money They have more appreciation for the things they buy when they use their own money.

When Do I Start?

Once your child shows both an interest in and an understanding of the concept of money – the fact that it can be exchanged for goods – they are ready to start learning the basics of money management. For many kids, this may be as young as three or four. Their first allowance should be given at a minimum of once a week.

How much should I give?

Some would say a dollar for each year of age. Others would suggest you match the amount their friends get. Neither approach is really much help.

When coming up with the amount, try this:

dot2 Money Determine how much money you already give them. If your kids don’t get allowances, you are managing their money for them by deciding what they will buy and what they will do. Their role is salesperson and manipulator. Let them learn to manage their own money. Stop doing all the work. Total up the amount you are giving them now. Give that to them as an allowance and let them make their own decisions. You’ll save money and avoid some of life’s major battles.
dot2 Money Make a list of what they are expected to pay for with their allowance. Once you have the amount, sit down with your child and make a list of everything they are expected to pay for. This solves the conflicts that may come up in stores and as they walk out the door to go to the movies. The total required becomes their allowance. As their needs change, so can the amount. Be open to reviewing it when appropriate.

Keep in mind the fact that kids have three uses for their money – spending, saving and sharing. Consider all three areas when you are coming up with the amount. In addition to setting the allowance, this process puts an end to the constant requests to buy this and that and to give them money to do whatever their hearts desire.

Should I Tie Allowances To Chores?

Do you believe your kids have a certain amount of responsibility around the house just because they are members of the family? If so, those responsibilities have nothing to do with allowances. In fact, if those responsibilities are not fulfilled, the loss of privileges would probably be more appropriate than the loss of allowances.

How can a child manage their money if they don’t know how much they will be getting on a regular basis? On the other hand, if a child does not need their allowance that week, is it acceptable not to do the chores? And finally, do we want your children to ask “How much?” every time you ask them to do something around the house?

Remember, the purpose of an allowance is to give your children the opportunity to learn how to manage money through their own successes and failures and the input of their parents.

 

 

About the Author:

David has worked with financial institutions for the last twenty years. His primary focus has been to research and develop innovative products and services. Current projects, in addition to the Kid’s Money Web Site, include the Kids’ Money Journal financial management system for kids, along with a number of books and articles. With five children and three grandchildren, he has been a longtime student of parenting.